You're Still Here
by hamilkm
Summary: AU MD story. How will Meredith make it through the greatest tragedy of her life? Can anyone help her through?
1. Chapter 1

Faith Hill - You're Still Here Lyrics print version

(Aimee Mayo/Matraca Berg)

Thought I saw you today  
You were standing in the sun then you turned away   
And I know it couldn't be  
But my heart believed  
Oh it seems like there's something everyday  
How could you be so far away  
When you're still here  
When I need you you're not hard to find  
You're still here  
I can see you in my baby's eyes   
And I laugh and cry  
You're still here

I had a dream last night  
That you came to me on silver wings  
And I flew away with you on a painted sky  
And I woke up wondering what was real  
Is what you see and touch or what you feel  
'Cause you're still here  
Oh you're everywhere we've ever been  
You're still here

I heard you in a strangers laugh  
And I hung around to hear him laugh again  
Just once again  
Thought I saw you today  
You were standing in the sun then you turned away

"Last call for flight 917, all passengers for flight 917 should now be on the plane," blared over the airport loudspeaker, but Meredith still couldn't move. This was it. If she got on that plane, it was all over. Her entire life for the past 7 years would be over, just like that. No, actually her entire life had ended exactly two weeks ago on a night that had started out perfect but quickly turned out to be the worst of her life.

"_Meri, do you really have to stay at the hospital tonight? We were supposed to start trying for our baby tonight," her husband asked._

"_I'm sorry baby, but I have to stay and monitor Mrs Rosegreen. She almost didn't make it through the surgery."_

"_Well, why can't one of your interns stay and do it? Why does it have to be you?" he whined._

"_Because this was my first major, solo brain surgery, and I really want to see it through. Why don't you run and get us some dinner, and we'll start that trying here in our on call room," Meredith said as she leaned in and kissed him on the lips._

"_Well, I can't say no when you ask me like that. I'll run to that little Italian place that you like so much and pick us up some pasta. I'll be back as soon as I can," he answered as he gently kissed her lips._

"_I'll be waiting," she replied in her best seductive voice. Her husband didn't answer, he just grinned at her, blue eyes shining, and took off at a run out of the hospital._

_The rest of the evening passed in a perfect blur. Dinner was left to become cold, as baby making took over as soon as he returned. It was this next decision that will haunt Meredith for the rest of her life._

"_Baby, why don't you go home and get a good nights sleep. There's no point in both of us being tired and sore in the morning," Meredith muttered in her post love making haze._

"_I'll just stay here and sleep with you," he muttered back._

"_No, go home and rest. I'll be there first thing in the morning and we can pick up where we left off," she said as she gently kissed his lips._

"_Once again, I can't say no to that. I guess I'll see you in the morning. Love you baby"_

"_Love you too"_

_If she had known those would be the last words she would ever speak to the love of her life, she would have expanded, told him how she never wanted to live without him, but instead she answered as if she would be telling him she loved him every day for the rest of their lives. She still wasn't sure exactly what occurred in the following hours. She was unable to remember the exact way the next events unfolded. All she could remember was realizing the love of her life was gone. Just like that, she would never look into those deep pools of blue again._

Meredith was broken out of her reverie when an airline attendant asked her if she was boarding the plane or not. She just nodded and walked silently through the door, down the hallway, and onto the plane that was going to take her to her new life.


	2. BlueEyed Boy and GreenEyed Girl

As Meredith sat on the plane listening to the pre-flight safety instructions her mind began to wonder once again, back to a much happier time in her life. Actually, to one of the happiest days in her life, the day she met him.

"_I can't believe I'm late for my first day of med school," Meredith mumbled as she ran across Dartmouth's campus to the building where her first class was located. She ran up the two flights of stairs to the classroom and slipped in to the back of the room just as the professor was starting. The guy sitting beside her turned and asked, "Are you going to be late like that every day?"_

"_Maybe," replied Meredith as her face began to turn a little red. She then looked up and right into the most gorgeous blue eyes she had ever seen. They were like two never-ending pools you could just get lost in. She then took in the rest of blue-eyed guy and was equally impressed. He was muscular with dark kind of wavy hair, and was most definitely the best looking man she had ever laid eyes on._

"_Well then I'll be sure to save this seat for you every day," he replied with a grin._

"_So you want to sit by me everyday," she stuttered out._

"_No, I just didn't want you to have to be embarrassed and have to walk all the way to the front of the room," he smirked back._

"_Oh," she answered. Man had she ever blown it. The hottest guy she'd ever met and within thirty seconds she had completely embarrassed herself._

"_Hey, I was only joking. I would be honored to sit by the most beautiful green-eyed girl in the class."_

_Their interaction was then interrupted by a stern voice, "Would you like to come share with the class what is more interesting than the influenza virus."_

"_No sir," Meredith answered just as blue-eyed boy said "Sure, I was just about to ask the prettiest girl I've ever seen to go on a date with me tonight."_

"_Well, please go ahead and ask. Don't let me interrupt!"_

"_Okay," he said as he turned to Meredith, "Green-eyed girl, would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?"_

_Meredith was stunned. This was definitely not the way she had envisioned her first day of medical school. Her mother would definitely kill her and make it look like an accident if she knew her daughter was disturbing a class in this way. Man she just hoped Dr Wilkins didn't know her mother._

"_Well, aren't you going to answer him, what was it? Green-eyed girl?"_

"_Um, okay," she managed to mutter out._

"_Well now that that's settled, let's get back to talking about the influenza virus."_

_Meredith hunched down while she took notes during the rest of the class. She had never been so embarrassed in her entire life. If that boy wasn't so hot, she would have definitely killed him right on the spot. When the class was over he managed to stop Meredith before she made it out the door._

"_So where do you want to go tonight?" he asked her._

"_Go? I'm not going anywhere with you. I can't believe you embarrassed me like that! We have to have Dr Wilkins for the next three semesters, and he already hates me now!"_

"_No, you are going to dinner with me tonight. I even have 150 witnesses that heard you agree to go with me, so no backing out now."_

"_Why should I go anywhere with you? I don't even know your name," she answered as she could slowly feel her resolve weakening. She couldn't look him directly in the eyes because she knew if she did she would agree to do anything and everything he ever asked. There was something about those eyes._

"_You should go to dinner with me because if you don't you'll spend the rest of your life regretting it."_

"_You think very highly of your dinner skills."_

"_What exactly are dinner skills?" he asked as he began to laugh._

"_Ugh… You know what I mean!"_

"_Oh man, you're even cuter when you're flustered,"_

"_Flustered, I'll show you flustered. Well, I mean I am already flustered, but I'll show you to call me flustered. I mean you can't get away with doing that."_

"_Oh man, now you're rambling. I really like the rambling. I'll even let you ramble at dinner tonight! Say 7:30 at Provino's?" He then turned around and walked away._

"_But, I didn't say I'd go!"_

"_Oh you'll be there," he said as his back-side got further and further away._

_To this day she still doesn't know exactly what possessed her to show up at the restaurant that night, but she did. That night was their first date, and she hadn't dated another man since. They had dated all through med-school where he had proposed during their last year. They were married the summer before they began their internships, and had worked together at the same hospital until the day he died. They were even both specializing in neurosurgery. Even though they pretended to be competitive at work, each was secretly glad when the other succeeded. He had been so proud of her that day when she had gotten her first solo surgery. She had been the first of the third year residents to get to go solo. He had pretended to be mad and jealous around everyone else at work, but in private he had told her just how proud he was. He hadn't even gotten a chance to perform his first solo surgery._

Meredith was brought out of her thoughts by the motion of the plane beginning to taxi down the runway. She had a few tears in her green eyes, all for her blue-eyed boy.


	3. How will I survive without you?

Meredith tried her best to not fall asleep after take-off because when she slept everything she didn't want to remember came screaming back at her. The look in his eyes when he kissed her good-bye for the last time, the page she had gotten down to the pit, his body on a stretcher, his casket being lowered into the ground. These moments were just blurs to her when awake, but when she was sleeping she saw them all in vivid detail. She relived those moments over and over again. This was why she hadn't slept in almost four days. As a doctor she knew it wasn't healthy, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't keep seeing him like that. Meredith preferred the memories she thought of when awake. Memories of happier times. Not that their seven years together had been without problems, but all of the pain seemed to fade away when he was there. He made even the worst days livable.

"_Mom, how many times do I have to tell you that I can't come down to Boston this weekend? I have finals all next week, and I need to study! You're the one who is always yelling at me and telling me to make better grades," Meredith exclaimed into the phone at her mother, the great Ellis Grey._

"_Meredith, it is imperative that I see you this weekend, and I really can't come up there. Just bring that boy of yours and come down this weekend. I won't take no for an answer," replied Ellis._

"_Okay, but we're flying down on Friday and back on Saturday. That's the only way we can make it."_

"_Fine, I will see you at the house Friday evening, Goodbye."_

"_What was that all about?" he asked as he came out of the kitchen. They had been dating for a little over a year at this point and were just one week of finals away from being half-way finished with their second year of med school._

"_My mom wants us to come down to Boston this weekend. I tried to get out of it, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. She acted like it was really important that she see me, and my mom has never acted like it was important that she see me. When I lived at home she would go weeks without seeing me, so something big must be going on. I wonder if she's getting married, or maybe she's not going to pay for my school anymore? What if I have to get a job? I won't have time to study, I'll fail out of school, then we won't get to do our internships together………"_

"_Okay, slow down and take a deep breath. It's all going to be okay, I promise. You are not going to fail out of school. I don't get why you're so worried. I should be the worried one considering I have yet to meet the great Ellis Grey."_

"_I would tell you she was nothing to be afraid of, but then I'd be lying and I know you hate liars," she said as she leaned in to gently kiss him. "Thank you for dealing with my panic attacks."_

"_You're welcome. You know I love you, panic attacks, rambling and all. Let's go finish studying."_

_The trip down to Boston was fairly uneventful, but Meredith's feelings of impending doom kept getting stronger the closer they came to Boston. When they finally pulled up in front of Meredith's childhood home, she wasn't even sure if she was breathing._

"_Just take a deep, cleansing breath. You're going to be fine, my beautiful green-eyed girl."_

"_How do you know I'll be fine? I'm never fine after an encounter with my mother. Don't you remember my last weekend trip home?"_

"_Yes, I do, but I also remember that it only took me, you, a gallon of ice cream, and a corny romantic comedy to make you feel better. Whatever happens, I'm here to take you home and make it all better. Don't forget that."_

"_Thanks. Just remember, no matter what she says to you that I love you and nothing that comes out of her mouth will change that."_

"_Well nothing she says to me will ever change the fact that I am totally 100 in love with her daughter. Now let's go get this over with!"_

_They walked up to the front door hand-in-hand. Meredith reached out to turn the doorknob, and found it strange that it was unlocked. Her mom never left doors unlocked. She slowly opened the door and walked into the house. "Mom! Mom, where are you?"_

"_I'm right here," said Ellis Grey as she walked into the foyer. "There's no need to yell. Come and have a seat in my office, I need to talk to you."_

"_Oh, mom this is my boyfriend…" Meredith was unable to finish her sentence before her mom interrupted, "I don't care who he is, and there is no point introducing me. Just bring him into my office and have a seat."_

"_I'm just going to get right to the point. There is really no point in exchanging fake pleasantries. I've been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's Disease. I have stepped down at the hospital and am moving into an assisted living home on Monday. The home is here in Boston. My only request to you is that you come down to check on me once a month. You have been taken care of financially. All of the money that you will need to finish school has been put in a fund. The houses here and in Seattle have also been signed over to you. You can chose to do what you like with the Seattle home, but the home here is for you to live in while you are doing your residency at Mass General. I will probably not be doing as well by then, so you will be close by to take care of things. Also, when you stop by my lawyer's office in the morning to sign all of these papers, you will also sign a confidentiality agreement. You are to tell no one about my condition, and if you do all of your financial support will be withdrawn, are we clear?"_

"_You're sick, I need to take care of you, lawyers….." Meredith began to ramble as her breathing became more and more panicked._

"_Meredith, stop being a baby. There are some things in life that you just have to deal with. Get over it," her mother strongly lectured as she left the room._

"_It's okay baby. We're going to deal with this together. I'll always be there to take care of you. You will never have to deal with anything like this alone ever again. Now why don't you go to the restroom, clean up your face, and take me on a tour of Boston. I've never been here before."_

_All it took was his simple assurance that he would be there to calm Meredith down. She had never been the type of girl to sit around daydreaming about weddings, babies, and happily ever afters, but with him she did. She knew right then and there that no matter what came her way in this crazy world, as long as he was beside her she could do it. She could survive. How was she ever going to survive without him?_

Meredith's thoughts were interrupted by a flight attendant asking her for her drink order. Everyone she knew thought she was insane to leave Boston only two weeks after he was gone, but they just didn't get it. She couldn't sleep in their house. She couldn't even go back to work to try to take her mind off of things because everything in that hospital reminded her of him and his death. A new life in a new town was what she needed. It was the only way she was going to be able to attempt to survive without him.

Thank you so much for your reviews so far! I promise many of your questions will be answered in the next few updates!


	4. Meredith Grey

Meredith looked longingly down at her engagement ring and wedding band. If she was going to start a new life, she was going to have to take them off because the new Meredith wasn't married. She was going to once again become Meredith Grey, someone she hadn't been in 3 ½ years. Meredith had been so happy when she began her internship that her last name wasn't Grey. Only the chief of surgery at Mass General knew who her mother was, and she liked it that way. No one thought she had been favored because of her mother because no one had a clue who her mother was. Two years ago when her mother had passed away she was worried that someone was going to figure it out because everyone at the hospital knew her mother had died and Ellis Grey's death had been a fairly major news story, but still no one had figured out who her mother was. She knew at her new job everyone would probably figure out rather quickly exactly who her mother was and would immediately assume she had been granted a transfer because of her mother. In a way this was true since the chief of surgery was an old family friend, but he also knew about her situation and was more than happy to help. It was going to suck to have everyone questioning her about her mother, but better that than questions about her dead husband. At least when she heard her mother's name she didn't burst into tears. She looked at her rings once again. They were going to have to come off before she landed because Meredith Grey wasn't married and had never been married at least that was what she wanted everyone to believe because she really couldn't handle all of the looks of pity she was sure to receive if everyone actually knew her true story. As she went to slip her rings off of her finger, she began to remember back to the day when they had first been slipped onto her hand.

_It was officially here. The day they had been planning ever since he had popped the question in the middle of Dr Wilkin's class. He had only seen fit to propose the exact same way he had asked her out for the first time. At least this time he had talked to the professor beforehand. It was their wedding day. The wedding was being held at Central Park in New York. This was probably not the first location Meredith would have chosen, but her fiancé's mother and sisters had thought it was the only place for their son/little brother to get married. Meredith had agreed since the only real requirement she had for a location was that she wanted it to be outdoors and she had no family to invite to the affair anyway. A couple of friends from high school and college were all that were on her guest list. Her fiancé had a large family and lots of family friends and since the majority of the guests were coming for him anyways it only made sense to hold the ceremony in his home town._

_Meredith had actually planned very little for this big day. School had been keeping both of them so busy, and his mother and sisters seemed to love doing all of the planning. The only thing Meredith had been in charge of was finding a wedding dress. His mom and sisters had been very disappointed when she showed up with a very simple, strapless a-line gown with no beading, lace, or even a train, but then again when it came to Meredith there wasn't much of which his family did approve. His parents had always hoped their son would marry a Manhattan socialite and move back into the city after graduating from med school and were extremely annoyed with the fact their son was marrying Meredith (even if her mom had as much if not more money than any of those other girls) and moving to Boston. None of this kept Meredith from feeling the happiness of this day. She was marrying the one and only love of her life. She could really care less where she was or what she was wearing. Everyone had warned her about the pre-wedding jitters, but she didn't have any. She knew she was making the best decision of her life._

_The ceremony flew by. She was so deliriously happy that she wasn't even sure if she had heard anything that was said. She was pretty sure she said "I do", but other than that, who knew. Before she knew it she heard, "You may now kiss the bride." He leaned down and slowly kissed her lips with promise of much more to come as soon as the reception was over. They were going to a two week honeymoon to Hawaii before they started their internships. The rest of the day had flown by in complete and total happiness. She knew that she would be this happy for the rest of her life. Even if she could have seen three and half years into the future she wouldn't have changed a thing because it is so much better to have love and lose it than to never have love at all._

Meredith slowly slipped the diamond solitaire and simple silver band off of her left ring finger and placed them on a chain around her neck. It was official, there was no more Meredith Evans, now only Meredith Grey existed and for the first time in her life she actually hated the fact that she was Meredith Grey.


	5. A Mom

It was a miracle that Meredith Evans had ever existed. Who would have ever thought that the pink haired teenager would end up happily married to prince charming? She definitely never would have. Meredith Grey was dark and twisty with mommy issues, daddy issues, trust issues, and so many other types of issues, while Meredith Evans was happy, carefree, and loved her life. The difference in the two: Chris Evans. He had so much happiness that he let it all spill over into her. He had the perfect childhood, mom, dad, and three older sisters. He was intelligent, handsome, and perfect in really every way. The only flaw Meredith had been able to find was that he was a slob. He left his clothes everywhere, dirty dishes in the living room, never helped clean anything, but she never even really noticed. When someone makes you that happy, who really cares? He had somehow even been able to convince her that she could be the one thing she never thought she could be, and she guessed now she never would be: a mom.

"_Hey sweetie, do you mind stopping by the pharmacy on your way home from work? I took my last pill today." Meredith said to Chris. He was getting off of work at 4 while she was on until 8._

"_I have an even better idea. Why don't we not get them filled this month?"_

"_Why would you want to do that? You know you hate using condoms, and my cycle will get all out of whack."_

"_What if we don't get them filled and don't use condoms?"_

"_If we did that I could get……oh…."_

"_Yeah, we could have a little me or even better a little you. Wouldn't that be amazing?"_

"_Chris, you know I can't be a mom. I mean I basically didn't even have a mother. How in the world am I supposed to be one for somebody else?" she asked as she pulled him into a nearby on-call room._

"_Meri, I don't know why you think you can't be a mom. You're amazing with children. All our nieces and nephews love you. They even talked you into sitting at the children's table at Christmas."_

"_I only sat at the children's table to avoid your sisters' glares, but, I mean, that was just for a weekend. If we had a baby it would be ours all the time."_

"_That's kind of the point."_

"_Stop being an ass! You know what I mean. What if I screw it up like my mom did me?"_

"_Would you ever leave a six year old child home alone? Or, have you ever forgotten my birthday or Christmas? Have you ever stayed at the hospital for two weeks straight?"_

"_Well, no. What's your point?"_

"_You are nothing like your mother, and I am nothing like your father. Our child would have the best childhood a child could ask for. Are you happy?"_

"_What kind of a question is that? Of course I'm happy!"_

"_Don't you want to share some of that happiness?"_

"_We would be a family, a happy family just like on tv."_

"_Just like on tv, except even better. Do you still want me to stop by the pharmacy on my way home? I understand if you're not ready yet."_

"_No, don't stop by the pharmacy."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Not completely, but I know that I can do this. As long as you are here, I can do this."_

Chris had always been able to talk her into doing just about anything he wanted. All it took was one look into those blue eyes, and she was a goner. He had convinced her to start trying for a baby exactly one week before he died. They had tried almost continually for that entire week. Even though she had never been completely sold on being a mom, she really regretted that she was never going to get to have her perfect little family like on tv, her baby with Chris's big blue eyes. Maybe this was just fate's way of telling her that she shouldn't be a mother after all. Maybe Chris had only been in her life so she could get a glimpse of everything she had missed out on while growing up? As the pilot announced their descent into Seattle, she could feel all the demons from her childhood slowly pouring back into her, this was the place where it had all started. This was where she had first become dark and twisty Meredith. It only seemed fitting that she was starting over in the same city where almost 25 years ago her happy five year old world had come crashing down.


	6. House of Memories

Meredith walked out of the Seattle airport and into the city of Seattle for the first time in nearly 25 years. The only memory she had of the city was that up until two weeks ago it had been the site of the greatest tragedy of her life. Meredith spent most of the cab ride to her old house looking out the windows at the city that would be her new home. When the cab pulled up in front of the house where she had spent the first five years of her life, the memories began to come flooding back.

"_Come on Meredith! We have to leave now. The cab is here and the meter is running!"_

"_But what about Daddy? We can't leave Daddy!" said five-year old Meredith with tears streaming down her face._

"_How many times do I have to tell you that your father isn't coming back! He is gone for good. Now hurry up or we're going to miss our plane."_

"_But what about my pink princess room? I can't leave my princess room that daddy made for me."_

"_You'll have a room in Boston, and you're getting a little too old for all of those fairytales. After all of this you think that you'd realize that there are no happily ever afters in the real world," said Ellis as she grabbed Meredith's tiny hand and pulled her out the door."_

"_I want my daddy," Meredith whimpered as the front door slammed shut behind her._

"_Well, we don't always get what we want do we?"_

Meredith fought back tears as she unlocked the front door and walked into the entryway. This was the first time that someone, other than someone from the maintenance company hired to take care of the house, had stepped into this house in nearly 25 years. When she had been given the house by her mother five years ago, she had never had the nerve to go to Seattle and see it. She and Chris had planned to eventually sell the house along with the Boston house to buy themselves a place outside the city to raise their family, but they had never gotten around to it. Now she was glad, because she had somewhere to live rent-free now that she was in Seattle. She walked from the entry way into the living room which still had the same old beige couch and blue chair that had been there when she was little. She left her luggage there and went to check out the kitchen to see what all she was going to have to go buy that evening. As she walked into the kitchen the memory of one of the last times she had been there hit her like a ton of bricks.

"_Meri, baby, what do you want for breakfast this morning?" Thatcher asked._

"_Um…..pancakes!"_

"_Okay, one short stack of flapjacks coming up for short stuff."_

"_Daddy you can't call me short stuff anymore! I'm five years old now, and I get to go to school next month. Not the baby school in the hospital either. I get to go to a big girl school."_

"_I know, and I am so proud of you. I can already tell that you're going to be the smartest little girl in your class."_

"_Yep, because I can already read lots of books. Becky at day-care already went to kindergarten and I can read better than her. She said that she couldn't read at all before she went to school, and since I already know how I'll probably be bored. But, I don't think I'll be bored because school is so exciting! So much better than stupid day-care."_

"_I hope you'll always think school is fun."_

"_Of course I will! The only thing more fun than school is ice-cream, but you can't have ice cream every day or your teeth will fall out."_

"_Where did you hear that, princess?"_

"_From Tommy. He said that's why his mommy won't let him eat ice-cream no more. I think he might be lying though because I eat a lot of ice-cream, and I still have all my teeth, see," Meredith said as she opened her mouth really wide to show her daddy all of her teeth._

"_Okay, well close your mouth now and eat your breakfast."_

"_What are we doing today daddy?" asked Meredith and she shoved a giant bite of pancakes into her mouth._

"_Well, I have to go to work for a little while, so you are going to go to the daycare at the hospital."_

"_Daycare! I don't want to go to daycare! Can't I come with you?"_

"_Not today princess, but I promise that I'll only be a couple of hours then we can go to the park and ride the carousel."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yes, but only if you go to daycare and don't sneak out again, okay."_

"_Okay. Do you promise that we'll get to go to the carousel?"_

"_I promise."_

That was the last time she had seen her father. Meredith hadn't realized that all of her old memories would be this strong. If she had, she might have never come to Seattle. This house so far was just as bad as the house in Boston had been. Maybe she could at least get some sleep here because she was exhausted. She walked out of the kitchen and headed up the stairs. Shopping would have to wait until tomorrow after she had gotten a good night sleep. When she got to the top of the stairs, she was unsure of which way to turn. It was a three bed-room house. Her parents room was on the right, while her room and bathroom were on the left. There was also a guest room at the end of the hallway. She went to open the door to her old room, but at the last second changed her mind because she couldn't deal with more memories right now. Instead she went to the room at the end of the hall, lay down on the guest bed, and fell into a dreamless sleep for the first time in two weeks.


	7. Daddy's Gone

Meredith slept completely through the night until 9 the next morning. It was the first full night sleep she had gotten since Chris had died, and she woke up feeling better than she had in two weeks. When she looked down at her watch and saw the time she jumped quickly out of bed. She only had an hour before her meeting with the chief of surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital. After taking a quick shower and eating a granola bar she had left in her purse, she ran out the door to go to the hospital only to realize that she didn't have a car. She had left her Explorer back in Boston. It was coming on the moving truck along with a few things from their house, but it wasn't going to be there for another three days. The only option she had was to call a cab, but by the time a cab picked her up and took her all the way to Seattle Grace she would definitely be late for her meeting. She reluctantly called Richard Webber's secretary and asked if she could push her meeting back a half hour. His secretary, Patricia, told her that would be fine, but only the chief would be available because the head of neurosurgery had a surgery scheduled for that time so she would have to meet him later. Meredith called a cab and soon she was on her way to Seattle Grace. Much to her dismay, her mind began to drift back to the last time she was at Seattle Grace Hospital.

_She had been in the hospital daycare for what seemed like days in her five year old mind, but in reality it had only been about four hours. Maybe her daddy forgot where to pick her up and was waiting out front for her? If she could just catch a minute where Miss Susie wasn't watching, she could sneak out of here and go find her daddy herself. Her opportunity came about ten minutes later when Tommy's mommy came to pick him up. While Miss Susie was talking, Meredith quietly slipped out the side door. Now all she had to do was remember how to get back down to the front doors because she was sure that was where her daddy was. Daddy was never late to pick her up. Her mommy normally forgot and left her in daycare for a really long time, but daddy always came when he said he would. Meredith saw the elevator at the end of the hall. That was it! She always had to ride the elevator up to daycare, so she must have to go down to get to the front door. Meredith stood behind a lady who was waiting to get on the elevator. That way no one would ask her where her mommy and daddy were. Once you got asked that question it was always a one way trip back to daycare. Then her mommy would yell at her for escaping._

_Meredith got off the first time the big doors opened. This hallway didn't look very familiar, but it must just be another way to get to the front. She kept walking down the hallway until it ended at a big set of double doors. Just as she was going to reach up and open the doors, they burst open. There were a bunch of doctors standing around a man on a rolling bed. They were running really fast and yelling. Meredith kept on walking, but then she looked at the man sleeping on the bed. That was daddy!_

"_Daddy, daddy! Wake up! It's time to go to the park. You can sleep later," she yelled as she ran into the little room where they had taken her daddy. She ran up to the bed and tried to climb up in it beside her daddy but was stopped by a set of strong hands._

"_What are you doing down here little Miss Grey? Did you escape out of daycare again?"_

"_No, Dr Richard. I came to find my daddy. I found him now, so I just need to wake him up so we can go to the park."_

"_Come on sweetie, let me take you back up to daycare," he said as he picked Meredith up and started to take her back in the direction she had come from._

"_But I need to get my daddy!"_

"_You can see your daddy later, but now you have to go back to daycare."_

_After Dr Richard took her back up to the daycare, she tried to escape again, but Miss Susie caught her and made her sit in the corner until one of her parents came to pick her up. Her mommy finally came to get her a few hours later._

"_Where's daddy? Is he still sleeping on that rolling bed?"_

"_I don't know what you're talking about Meredith. How many times have I told you to stop making up stories? When we get home I need you to go up to your room and pack some clothes and toys into a suitcase."_

"_Why? Are we going on vacation?"_

"_No, we're moving to Boston?"_

"_What does moving mean?"_

"_It means we are going to have a new house in a new town, just me and you."_

"_So me, you, and daddy are going to get a new house?"_

"_Not daddy, Meredith. Daddy is gone, and he is never coming back. He left. It is just me and you now."_

"_Daddy isn't gone. I saw him today on the rolling bed."_

"_That was not your father Meredith. Your father left! Now we are going home to pack because we are leaving for Boston in the morning."_

_Meredith followed her mother out of the hospital with tears running down her face. How could daddy be gone? She knew she had seen him that afternoon._

Meredith had forgotten about thinking she had seen her dad on a stretcher that day. Looking back she now realized she must have just thought it was her daddy because that was the day that Thatcher Grey had packed up and left her life forever. As the cab rolled to a stop in front of the hospital, she slowly got out of the back seat and took a deep breath. She was going to go through those glass doors and start her life over.


End file.
